Big Lake, Alaska and The Susitna Valley News, Weather, Events, And More

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Thursday, June 22 2017 @ 08:26 AM AKDT

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Scientists find health benefits in moose droppings

Satire/HumorGood news for residents of the far north and beyond: Scientists at a prestigious university have discovered a number of health benefits from the lowly moose poop, including a cure for ageing. One simply needs to make it into a facial cream.

It may also be good for your skin while gardening. Jeff Lowenfels, noted gardener writes: "The best analysis of moose droppings I could find was done by the Co-operative Extension Service. It found that moose droppings are 74 percent moisture (could fool me!) and have an NPK of 2.5 percent N, 1.8 percent P and 1.2 percent K, along 1.2 percent zinc, 1.6 percent calcium and 0.7 percent magnesium.Clearly it is nutritious for the environment, and the rough texture will help in exfoliation, but there's more:

Moose get minerals from your car, which you get from the road.

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Funny Pic of the Day

Satire/HumorJust a random pic that made me laugh. Hope someone else gets a laugh from it!

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Got Snow?

Satire/HumorFunny pic, thought I'd share.

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Funny Pic

Satire/HumorSaw this, thought maybe someone would get a laugh.

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Sunday Funnies

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The Big Lake Times Comic

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My complaint about Nuisance Moose

Satire/HumorIf you've been following the news recently, you know that my prayers go out to everyone who was hurt by Nuisance Moose. However, you might not know that gloomy, sententious ungulates would be far more bearable if they didn't censor by caricature and preempt discussion by stereotype. Here's a quick review: I intend to look closely at Nuisance Moose's litanies to see what makes them so effectual at producing nothing but nuggets. I should expect to find—this is a guess that I currently lack sufficient knowledge to verify—that we must get people to sign a petition to limit Nuisance Moose's ability to cause trouble. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that everybody is probably familiar with the cliche that on many issues, discussions with Nuisance Moose quickly turn into fights, and dialogues soon degenerate into name-calling. Well, there's a lot of truth in that cliche.

A Moose-Licked Car